What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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