Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
