I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
