Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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