No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
