Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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