If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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