is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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