you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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