Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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