Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
MIDGETS
????
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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