last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
