I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
