Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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