Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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