Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
