you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
