belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
