apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
