Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
