for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
