How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
