she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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