I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
