You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
porn star boner night. come get it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
