I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
