i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
sex in a hospital.. check
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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