Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
