the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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