I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
