I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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