it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize