i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
