what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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