If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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