I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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