Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
