oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
