No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
