she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
