Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
