I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
