Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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