he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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