well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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