Everything about him screamed your future.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I know her cup size but not her name....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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