Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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