Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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