Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm like, not good at living.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
