she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
