two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
