"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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