This girl is more easily done than said...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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