Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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