She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
