why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
